3000 Volts of Lawn Care Maintenance

It is certainly beautiful out here on our quiet little piece of heaven, on the "almost" ranch. In addition to seven acres of forest and six acres of pastures, there are a couple of acres that surround the house and barn.  Sadly, this needs to be mowed at least--at least--every two weeks.  The lawn mower Farmer Ron so generously let us borrow doesn't have a bag on the back of it, so we aren't able to "rake" at the same time that we mow.

Since I was caught up with paper grading this afternoon--and that changes hourly, by the way--I decided to help with the lawn care and start raking the grass that had been cut two days ago.  Why? Grass doesn't grow well underneath a pile of dead grass and since the lawn looks like lush carpet, we want to keep it that way.

Let me set the scene--and then I'll explain the outfit:

I was not aware that my husband was taking these pictures.  In fact, I thought it would help him work in his home office-- an open den between the kitchen and living room-- if I stayed out of his hair for a few hours.  Besides, Gunnar was outside in the backyard wearing his new Gentle Leader (tm) face harness--it's not mean: it helps dogs to walk on-leash without pulling. (I can't wait to try it on Talon again).

So, let's move on:

Yeah, I pretty much look like I don't know what I'm doing...and I don't.  By the way, I do wear rainboots to do almost everything in: walking the dogs, yard work, Wisconsin Badger games, you name it.  I am wearing orange rainboots and a red shirt; again, I was not aware that I'd be photographed, or have anything to say about the experience when I was done. 

In addition, it is only 70 degrees outside, but there is at least 200% humidity out today.  Now I'm not a highly qualified television meteorologist (that's kind of like a televangelist), but I'll venture to guess that much humidity while trying to do chores makes them a little more difficult.  It does.

I believe that I sent myself into an abnormal (and fast) cardiach rhythm, exerting this much energy with that much humidity.  Thirst was undeniable, but one gets waterlogged when working in tropical climates, as the water doesn't really "sweat off."  There's no way to cool off or quench your thirst! It isn't the desert here folks that we've become so accustomed to and if I had my choice, I would probably pull up most of the grass and gravel over it.  (Don't tell Bill).

I made a big effort to rake as much of the yard as I could in this weakened state.  I finally realized that I was going to fall over from exhaustion-or worse, heart failure-so I leaned on the rake and said to Gunnar, "Go get daddy!"  At this point I really wanted Bill to come out with the wheelbarrow and wheel me into the house.  Gunnar proceeded to eat some grass and then throw it up, therefore, it was up to me:

I've discovered that as a farm girl, one must be resourceful, so I clung to the rake handle and jumped up, springing off of the pliable teeth at the bottom of the lawn implement.  I purposely landed on the nearby electric fence, got a good tingle and enough volts to knock me back into a normal sinus heart rhythm.

(That's a total crock. The only parts that are true are the ones about the rainboots and the humidity!)