A Note From Gunnar

Gunnar asked me to translate a note for him, as he does not type well. Here goes:

Dear friends,

I'm writing this note in hopes that it reaches you in time. There has been some very strange occurences out here in Bluebird Hollow and just in case it is happening elsewhere, I thought you should know about it and take heed...

A few days after Beatrice the Amish goat arrived she developed an electrical force field when, if lunged at, puts up her electricity barrier and she gives you a very powerful shock. I decided it's best that I don't go near the goat.

A few days after the goat arrived, two short little horses started living in the barn. In an uncanny event of coincidence, these horses developed electrical force fields as well. At first I thought it was something on that other side of the barn that was allowing them to shoot electricity at me, but now I'm starting to think it's in their water or hay. I decided it's best that I don't go near the horses.

I try hard to stay very close to the lady and Mr. H if they let me out into the barn. I also don't care to try to eat the goat any more. I never wanted to eat the horses (they are taller and stronger than I am), I just wanted to say "hi" and possibly gnaw on a leg. But alas, it wasn't meant to be.

I'm warning you of this because I am starting to think that this electricity issue has nothing to do with my barn, specifically; rather, it has to do with something in the air in my neighborhood. As the lady and I were out walking yesterday, I got zapped by a squirrel! Can you believe it? A squirrel, of all things.

Good news though: mice are immune to possessing the electricity. It is impossible for mice to zap me or put up an electrical force field. I think it has something to do with the cheese they eat!

Hmmm...yeah..
I just reread this note from G-man. I believe what he is trying to say involves his behavior and a certain new "necklace" that he just got, to modify said behavior. We didn't want him eating Beatrice or pretending he was going to, or even lunging in her general direction. So, Mr. H and I finally broke down and admitted we had to do something about this rather serious problem and are treating Gunnar with a little electroshock therapy. He has only needed a couple of shocks total--maybe less than 7 in 2 weeks--and he seems to not repeat the behaviors that we don't want. Talk about a fast learner!

The first night Mr. H tried the shock collar I was on the way home from work. He called me and said, "Go back to the pet store, get three more shock collars for small dogs ($149/dog) and tip the guy who sold you the first one $100. Ha! Apparently we have achieved a desired effect! I can't wait to wrap those shock collars around the three stooges in the house: Talon, Wulf, and Loki won't know what hit 'em! We won't recognize them as they will be so well-behaved--we've never seen such a thing in this household.