Sometimes Family Members Lie

My mom has four sisters; therefore, I have four aunts. (This is also a small vignette that incudes a bit of math). They're all beautiful and talented and drive me crazy, but they're mine and I love them dearly.

My gorgeous red-headed aunt, who's name I shall not name to protect the innocent....the aunt that delivered two Mini horses to me two weeks ago...but I will not mention her name. I don't want to call her out in front of the whole world.

Here's what Tonda said to me--oops. Here's what my aunt said to me:
"The horses are "easy-keepers," and they go to the bathroom in one spot. Easy to clean up after."

My interepretation of what that means: both horses poop in one spot right on top of each other's horse apples, thus yielding one pile in any one entire pasture where I will have to scoop poop and throw it over my fence toward the "garden area." (For information on what defines a "garden area," see previous post).

Here's what Tonda--I mean, my aunt who shall remain nameless--was actually saying:
"These Mini horses poop a small pile in one spot every 30 minutes."

Every twelve hours I am picking up about twelve piles; that's 6 piles per horse, each throwin' one down every two hours. I toddle out there with my little red wheelbarrow (my aunt bought it for me--I love it) and scoop the piles with my rake onto the blue plastic shovel and then into the wheelbarrow.

Why are we still on the topic of horse apples? It's a new part of my world. Horses are a very new part of my world. Speaking of new worlds and otherworldly--that goat, Beatrice the wonder goat, was recorded today zooming up and down the pastures. If I can figure out how to upload that video from my phone to the blog, look out! It's gonna win me an Oscar; probably not a Tony, but definitely an Oscar--or maybe an Emmy. Once TLC television comes out and realizes my reality show would blow that family of 8 twin-trip-quan-tupletey things out of the water, I'll get my own videographer: maybe even my own horse apple shoveler...just like the elephant cleaner-upper at the circus.

Farming is serious business: a whole wheel barrow full of "apples"
and hay